The Allure of Convenience

I think that the all-in-one romantic relationship happened because it is easy. It is simple. The lower input energy and effort required for something to happen has allowed it to win by default. More complex relationships outside of the monogamous norm require more effort in that there are more people to balance but also because you have to swim upstream against social norms.

• Are dyads inherently more stable? I don’t think so but they pretty much a priori take up less energy than a poly structure.

undying immortal love is beautiful and seductive as a concept but also impossible

why does romantic love strive for foreverness? humans love immortality

we want forever in some ways it speaks to the difficulty of finding someone and settling down with what you can get

we want our partner to be our sexual partner, housemate, co-parent, therapist, etc putting all our eggs in one basket

the spouse as our best friend has been misinterpreted really we need that deep connection and playfulness that ain’t reliant on desire and attraction (liking someone as a person as opposed to an object of desire) and instead we’ve taken it to mean that our spouse should be the best friend above all else