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The Allure of Convenience

Stub • 205 Words • Love/Romance • 04/02/2024

This article is part of the Abolishing Romance Anthology.

I think that the all-in-one romantic relationship happened because it is easy. It is simple. The lower input energy and effort required for something to happen has allowed it to win by default. More complex relationships outside of the monogamous norm require more effort in that there are more people to balance but also because you have to swim upstream against social norms.

  • Are dyads inherently more stable? I don’t think so but they pretty much a priori take up less energy than a poly structure.

undying immortal love is beautiful and seductive as a concept but also impossible

why does romantic love strive for foreverness? humans love immortality

we want forever in some ways it speaks to the difficulty of finding someone and settling down with what you can get

we want our partner to be our sexual partner, housemate, co-parent, therapist, etc putting all our eggs in one basket

the spouse as our best friend has been misinterpreted really we need that deep connection and playfulness that ain’t reliant on desire and attraction (liking someone as a person as opposed to an object of desire) and instead we’ve taken it to mean that our spouse should be the best friend above all else


Other Love/Romance Posts

Is non-monogamous love shallower?

I think that this is a question that monogamous and non-monogamous people have all thought about at least once, so I wanted to dedicate some time thinking about it to settle the question.

Why Do People Stay In Bad Relationships?

Exploring the microeconomics/behavioral economics of staying in a bad relationship.

Re-imagining vs De-centering Romance

Can you re-imagine romance without de-centering it or vice versa?

Romance Is Prescriptive

Romance has prescriptive power which can limit your relationships.

Everything is not romantic

My proposal for getting away from using the word "romance" to avoid conceptual baggage and adding to the weight of the term.

Can we reimagine romance?

The concept of romance doesn't always serve everyone. Can we rehabilitate this concept or are we better off abandoning it entirely?


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