Reimagining Relationships
An anthology is my way of bringing together my sub-thoughts into bigger arguments in a more singular, cohesive piece. They are subject to change over time. Links in italics are to posts that I have written.
This page is part of a Big Question.
This page is part of the Abolishing Romance Anthology.
This page is part of the Perspectives on A-Spec Identity Anthology.
Keep in mind that this is a work in progress!
Part I: De-Centering Romance
I do not think that romance/romantic relationships should be a primary life goal.
- This is sometimes referred to as “de-centering romance”.
- I have no problem with romance per se, but I think that the channeling/implementation of romance into romantic relationships should be only a portion of your total relationships/energy/time.
Furthermore, I argue that you need not use the word “romantic” in your everyday life.
- Everything is not romantic
- I don’t care if you have a partnership, but just don’t call it romantic!
Part II: Alternatives to Romance
I think that non-monogamous romance that doesn’t necessarily lead to partnership would be the ideal state of romance in society.
- Romance should be light & fun, it can lead to something, but no worries if not.
- I feel that a lot of people choose not to pursue things because they are scared about the long-term, but also that a lot of people stay in the long-term when they really shouldn’t.
- Detangling Romance and Partnership
I think that for child-rearing or other domestic tasks, that Non-Romantic Partnerships could fulfill the role that romantic relationships currently play in that regard, perhaps even better than romantic relationships.
- It takes a village after all!
- Maybe this leads to more people living in a commune with their partners, friends, and/or family.
All in all, I want to see a world with love at the center of all relationships and relationships at the center of life.
- My vision for romance is just my own vision, but there are steps that can be taken by individuals now in order to bring about a life with love at the center.
- Resisting the Automatic +1
- This is not without precedent, in the book The Other Significant Others, the author imagines “life with friendship at the center”. In my mind, I am just expanding this idea of friendship into love at the center.
- Love of family, friends, partners, etc.