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Imagining a post-romantic world

Stub • 360 Words • Love/Romance • 04/02/2024

This article is part of the Abolishing Romance Anthology.

The project of romantic abolitionism is successful and the norms of romance and romantic love are now dismantled. What do society and relationships look like?

The question asked in Are we living in a post-romantic era? by Serena Smith is a completely different question than the one I have in mind. She cites Dr Bandinelli:

  • “She adds that she believes we’re living through a “post-romantic era”, where we’re attempting to re-codify love in light of a new set of ethics. “These new ethics stem from the recognition of the malaise of romance in a patriarchal society, and tries to subvert patriarchal power dynamics,” she explains.”

This is not a true post-romantic era as I take it because the idea of romantic love is still alive and well, it is the main reason why people are trying to find partners. The way that people nowadays are going about it may seem colder and more rote than prior approaches, but in a way it is being more intentional and trying to fill in the gaps where traditional dating spaces and apps have failed. I do admit that the speed and scale in which it is happening is almost entirely the result of a society so used to the Internet.

In a post-romantic world I am most interested in the downstream consequences of the absence of romance.

Will something fill the vacuum of romantic love?

  • Is romantic love inevitable?
  • My candidate for the replacement of romantic partnerships is something like queerplatonic relationships.
  • My candidate for the replacement of romantic love is the broadening of it to be love more generally, without any kind of distinction/differentiation.

What happens to relationships? Marriages?

  • long term romantic relationships usually start to sound like life partnerships with some degree of entanglement but not always
  • would you say a bi-coastal marriage long term relationship is not romantic

What happens to aromantic people?

  • people who don’t feel romantic attraction are no longer alienated
  • partnership averse people would just be known as lone wolves
  • partnership inclined people would be empowered to explore whatever works best for them in society and wouldn’t be held down by traditional norms and expectations of romance

Other Love/Romance Posts

Is non-monogamous love shallower?

I think that this is a question that monogamous and non-monogamous people have all thought about at least once, so I wanted to dedicate some time thinking about it to settle the question.

Why Do People Stay In Bad Relationships?

Exploring the microeconomics/behavioral economics of staying in a bad relationship.

Re-imagining vs De-centering Romance

Can you re-imagine romance without de-centering it or vice versa?

Romance Is Prescriptive

Romance has prescriptive power which can limit your relationships.

Everything is not romantic

My proposal for getting away from using the word "romance" to avoid conceptual baggage and adding to the weight of the term.

Can we reimagine romance?

The concept of romance doesn't always serve everyone. Can we rehabilitate this concept or are we better off abandoning it entirely?


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