The Norms of Romance

Relationship Escalator (you move on from one step to the other in a linear progression):

1. You date non-exclusively
2. You date exclusively
3. You get married (can move in before or after)
4. You buy a house together
5. You have kids

read more on the relationship escalator

Relationship Limiting Beliefs

the relationship escalator has changed a little bit over time, but not all that much

• there might be slight deviation in the order but people are generally expected to follow it linearly
• within each piece of the relationship escalator are norms/expectations for people in those roles

Norms on who you can marry

• Same race - outdated but still racism
• Same class - still kicking but not as explicit
• Opposite sex - outdated but still homophobia
• Only one person - Monogamy is still strongly held but polyamory is gaining traction

Norms of what you do when married

• Move in together - almost no discourse in opposition
• Buy a house together - small opposing voices about buying vs renting
  • Sleep in the same bed/share a bedroom - small alternative voices
• Share finances - some opposing voices
• Have kids - some empowerment for DINKs