Not Everyone Needs or Wants Things

As a person who identifies as a man who frequently says “I don’t need/want anything” when an occasion comes for people to give me gifts, I am aware of how many gift guides dedicated to people like me. “Best Gifts for Men That’ll Impress Any Guy”, “Best Gifts for Men That’ll Spoil Him Rotten”, “Best Gifts for Men That Will Actually Make Him Happy”, “Best gift ideas for men for all occasions”. Not only do I think that this reduces men into a nebulous concept that ends up depersonalizing the gifts, I think that often times it misses the point altogether.

There is also the problem of the people who have it all. The people that buy something for themselves whenever they want it. People like these are where traditional gift giving advice can begin to breakdown. They don’t have anything that they really want/need. Sometimes the elevated basics approach works because they prioritize or value different items differently, so you could get them something that they didn’t think to get yet because it was lower on the list. However, that falls short for the same reason why they did not purchase it for themself, they do not value the item as much as other things. You have satisfied the condition of getting them something, and they will obviously appreciate the gift, but your exact mileage may vary.

A lot of times they don’t really want many things. Sometimes it may be that they don’t pause and reflect on what they want/need, but other times it is because they do not feel the pressure of consumerism as much. I think that gift guides can be useful for inspiration, however also a lot of times they are simply trying to sell you something.

The simple fact is: Not everyone want things. Once we can get that out of the way, and take what people say at face value, we can move on to different avenues.

Additionally, gifts are a bit more permanent. They take up space. They could be replacements of other things.

• I am always hesitant to give things like hoodies or candles. They are things that, for most people, they already have a couple of. So why should they put your gift into rotation?
• Unless you know them very well, I think that a gift like this can quickly be suboptimal.