Polyamory Acts on More Than Just Romance

As someone who practices non-monogamy, I think that the most life-changing part of it is not the fact that you can have multiple (romantic) partners. Instead, I think it is the ability to deeply connect with people across all different types of relationships (sexual, platonic, romantic, etc.).

Friendship with people of your non-preferred (i.e. attracted to) sexes/genders usually present no problem in a monogamous relationship, but relationships with people of your preference can be where the brakes start to kick in.

• Intimacy is something that helps deepen relationships, but in a monogamous relationship there is understandably some hesitancy toward allowing your partner to have deep emotional intimacy with other people that they could in turn become romantically and/or sexually attracted to.
• Cuddling, hanging out for extended periods of time, having secrets; these are all various forms of intimacy that are usually reserved for your partner, but when you have license to do these with people other than your partner, your relationships are able to get much closer.

In addition, practicing non-monogamy allows your relationships to evolve naturally over time.

• You can exist in a gray area.
• You can add or remove commitment as necessary.

What this means is that you can develop really deep friendships/relationships with people without having to fear catching feelings.

• With less holding back, you are able to be more authentic to yourself and feelings.
• If you end up catching feelings, it doesn’t matter since you’re non-monogamous!
• If you don’t catch feelings or you try and it doesn’t work out, then you still have someone that you have/had a deep relationship with!

Obviously you have to make sure that you aren’t crossing any of your your partner(s)’s boundaries, but those should be set ahead of time anyway.