Romance as a Bad Organizing Principle
Stub • 242 Words • Love/Romance • 04/02/2024
This article is part of the Abolishing Romance Anthology.
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what is an organizing principle?
- https://dallaswholelife.com/2014/10/30/organizing-principle-life/
- when i say life organizing principle i mean the thing in which you organize your life around, thus centering it
why is it a bad life organizing principle?
- you can chase romance but it takes time to find + grow it
- you could be using that time to strengthen friendships, career, etc
- you can multi-task, but it is hard to intentionally do lots of things at the same time
- having romantic relationships at the top of the hierarchy can be tricky especially when you have an all-in-one romantic relationship where they are most/all of your support system
if its a bad life organizing principle, does that make it a bad relationship organizing principle?
- depends on what your goal is
- romance is inherently unstable in my opinion because it is so heavily tied to desire
- if you want to raise a family (i.e. co-parent) romance has nothing to do with child-rearing capability
- in fact raising children can take away time and energy from romance maintenance
- if you want a roommate romance has little to do with your compatibility in living together
- i don’t think that spending lots of time together while living together inherently lowers the quality/magic of romance but can lead to taking the other person’s presence for granted and not maintaining the spark of romance
- if you want someone to share life with it need not be romantic, could be a friend or family member