Rees D.

The Norms of Romance

Stub • 188 Words • Love/Romance, 2024 • 04/03/2024

⚠️ This post contains a rougher cut of my thoughts on the topic and may be updated in the future. Please forgive any mistakes or lack of polish!

This article is part of the Abolishing Romance Anthology.

My Pages That Link Here:

• Romance Is Prescriptive
• Am I romantically attracted to my friend?
• Non-Romantic Partnerships
• We Need More IRL Friends to Lovers

My Pages This Post Links To:

• Relationship Limiting Beliefs

Outlining the various norms of the stages of romance.

There are 201 words in this article, and it will probably take you less than 2 minutes to read it.

This article was published 2024-04-03 00:00:00 -0400, which makes this post and me old when I published it.

It took an estimated to develop this article from conception to publishing.

Relationship Escalator (you move on from one step to the other in a linear progression):

1. You date non-exclusively
2. You date exclusively
3. You get married (can move in before or after)
4. You buy a house together
5. You have kids

read more on the relationship escalator

Relationship Limiting Beliefs

the relationship escalator has changed a little bit over time, but not all that much

• there might be slight deviation in the order but people are generally expected to follow it linearly
• within each piece of the relationship escalator are norms/expectations for people in those roles

Norms on who you can marry

• Same race - outdated but still racism
• Same class - still kicking but not as explicit
• Opposite sex - outdated but still homophobia
• Only one person - Monogamy is still strongly held but polyamory is gaining traction

Norms of what you do when married

• Move in together - almost no discourse in opposition
• Buy a house together - small opposing voices about buying vs renting
  • Sleep in the same bed/share a bedroom - small alternative voices
• Share finances - some opposing voices
• Have kids - some empowerment for DINKs