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Online Dating From An Abundance Mindset

Article524 Words • Loving Better, Dating • 11/06/2024

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What is an abundance mindset and why is it important for online dating?

I think that the most effective approach to online dating is to change your perspective toward it.

  • You cannot rush it and it will have to happen over time
    • People are joining and leaving dating apps all the time so it is better to just slowly chip away instead of swiping for an hour a day for a week
    • You cannot predict responses so a situation could arise where you are talking to too many people in the same period of time which will result in less attention to each individual
    • Rushing will lead to sub-optimal situations
  • Going on a dating app looking for the love of your life is probably the worst way to find that person.
    • This isn’t to say that you won’t be able to find them, but if you have such a lofty goal anything less than that becomes demotivating which can quickly cause you to burnout.
  • If you are operating out of a “place of lack” where you are trying to fill a hole in your life, you will settle quicker and cling longer/harder to sub-optimal situations.

I don’t think that an abundance mindset is the only valid way to approach online dating, any approach you want to take is valid, but I do think that it is the healthiest approach that will allow for longevity on the apps as well as your best mental health.

Hinge can quickly feel like a game. The constant swiping makes it easy to give less thought to each person and numb you to the fact that you are interacting with actual people on the other side of the screen.

Dating is not a numbers game, but online dating is. There are a lot of people out there, but you will not get along with all of them and there are some people that you would get along with but it just isn’t the right time/doesn’t work out for some other reason.

How can online dating help me improve myself?

The best way that I’ve found to adopt an abundance mindset toward online dating is focusing on how the process can help you improve yourself regardless of any of the other outcomes of your online dating.

  • Get better at navigating interpersonal relationships
    • Get better at setting boundaries
    • Get better at communicating desires and intention
    • Get better at having “tough” conversations/confrontation
  • Increase charisma and ability to get to know new people
    • Become more comfortable in flirting
    • Become a better conversationalist/having small talk
  • Meet interesting people and have more stories, make friends if possible
    • You will be meeting people that you otherwise would have never run into “organically”
  • Become better at handling rejection
    • Practice getting less attached
      • Be okay with rejection and don’t plan too far ahead with anyone
      • Understand that they are likely talking to other people
  • Become less scared about reaching out and meeting/talking to strangers
    • Practice and exposure are the best way to get better at something and to become less afraid of it

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